Stars & Raindrops

Morning world ! i'm kind of bored right now .. i'm going out later wif my cuzzies & aunties .. it's family bonding time . i told u already ! my family , eqa's family & audra's family are going out .. first time ne bh jln2 altogether like this . it'll be interesting .. haha ! i wanna talk about last night .. ok , i didn't get to blog last night cuz i was so tired .. there's this annual dinner that we had to go .. it was boring ! capital 'B' man !! old ppl's dinner .. i think i'm the only teenage girl there .. aihhh .. i've learned my lesson .. next time , i don't want to take part in any kind of activities like that .. hehe . btw , i've told my dad about the school but he's distracted cuz a football match was playing last night . kcaw ow ! all my bro pnya psl .. haha . he didn't get the chance to read the brochure .. he was too sleepy that time so bad timing lha Dean !! whahahaha !! wow .. that's weird . i just called myself Dean .. i'm used to my pet name , 'Comel' better ! .. hehe .. bad timing lha Comel !! haha .. anyway , i bought this really pretty dress .. ahhh ! it's so cute & comfy . that's my opinion .. LOL . but i hv to wear jeans or tights underneath cuz my mum won't let me dress like that . well , i just listen to her lha .. she's the boss . haha ! & i hv to wear something that will cover my upper body part too .. this one is my choice cuz i'm not used wearing something like that without a caplet or jacket or something .. it feels naked .. & i HATE that !!! i just washed the dishes btw so my hands r as rough & dry as cement surface .. hahaha ! pnya main byk the dishes .. blh jd gunung sudah . wkakaka . but it's one of my chores bcuz we don't have a maid for a while . it's just for temporary though .. she quitted for some personal reasons . family that is .. haha ! anyway , i wanna watch tv now . so bye2 bloggie ! ahahaha . :D

hey bloggie & hello world ! ahhh .. it's 8 mins to 12.30am .. Thank God that tomorrow's the weekend & i can sleep as late as i want to .. i just downloaded a song by Zee Avi entitled 'Just you and me' .. i love it so much that i've added it into my blog .. listen to it .. so catchy .. my latest obsession is the songs of Zee Avi . her music is sort of like Norah Jones' which i listen to most of the day . i don't know why but i love old people's kind of tunes such as jazz , soul , country & etc .. but i still like brand new tunes though , just to fit in the teenage interest . haha .. i think her first debut is the song "bitter heart" which is currently popular in the local music scene . i was surprised by the fact that she's from Borneo . yet she's famous in the US . it's all bcuz of her YouTube channel . wow .. u can really get famous just by uploading ur vids on the net even if u live in a place that is as small as Borneo .. that is if u hv the guts though . as for me , that is something that i'm terrified to do .. picture this , ur singing a song & is watched by millions of peeps around the world . that's insanely brave ! for me lha .. don't know how u guys picture it .. anyway , my cuzzy invites me to go out tomorrow .. pg mna ? pg cp lha .. blk2 tuh tmpt . i'm so sick of it ! damn sick . mcm tiada tmpt lain mw pg . but still , at least i'll get to 'wash' my eyes with pretty things that u can find in the shops .. honestly i'm not in the mood to go out any time soon bcuz i'm a little bit [TOO] nervous to ask my folks about the school i dream about day & night .. what ever .. but on sunday , for sure i'll go out bcuz it's family bonding time .. my mum wants to take us to go bowling . just last week i bowled with my cuzzy .. i wanna go see a movie ! got this one movie that seems interesting to watch . at least that's what the newspapers said .. it's called 'Sorority Row' . some of my friends already watched it .. they said it's thrilling . & i'm a sucker for thriller movies .. so what the hec . ahhh .. it's 12.50 & i think i'm going to offline . there's a thriller movie playing on Astro . 'Rest Stop:don't look back' or something . bye for now . Good night world !

it's 2.36pm & i still don't shower yet . hahaha ! i'm at my cuzzy's hse & yes i'm sleeping over . it's just that i'm freakin lonely & bored at home .. i hate being the only daughter . aaaargh ! anyway there's something i like to share with ya guys ! EVERYBODY knows the youtube web ryt ? if u don't , i bet u've never USED the internet . hhe ! i'm currently adddicted to this really awesome channel . the AWESOMEST[if thre's such word] ever known to man ! hahaha . & of coz it's the NIGAHIGA CHANNEL ! Ryan Higa is extremely a cute hottie !! he's such an adorable american-japanese guy ! did i mention he's living in Hawaii ? but too bad he's already taken by tarynn nago . his co-star in his funny vids . he's 19 btw . LOL ! u should check out his channel . it's crazy stuff ~ bullcrap kind of humour . he got dz stupid mimics of face u've ever seen . so 'selamba' but yet hyper . haha . my favourites are "how to be emo" , "why chris brown beat rihanna" , "the shamwoohoo" , "off the pill-farts" , "rant on asian drama" & many more ! all are my favourites but i can't type them all right here now . juz check out his channel . oh yah ! don't forget "a message to all haters" . "word of the day-pwned" & "movie in minutes-twilight" . they're hardcore funn-ayyyy !! nway , i gotta go now peeps . i wna take a shower cuz i'm super stinky . hha ! teehee !![nigahiga style]

p/s: did u know that he has over 1 million subscribers & is officially declared the no.1 channel on youtube . he beats them all ! hahahaha !

hey bloggie ! it's 5 mins to 9pm & i'm terribly bored so i decide to visit u once again . aahhh .. finally i can actively write crappy posts on my blog . so PMR's over already & i'm having one of those times where i have to choose between life & death .. LOL ! [over reacting] . =D . it's not really about it actually , i'm just testing my knowledge in metaphores .. hahaha ! anyway, it's about what stream i'm going to enter . don't really know actually cuz my ambition changes A LOT ! at first i wanted to an animal saviour such as vet, wildlife biologist & the like but since i know that i'm stupid ... i changed it. seriously, c'mon .. i suck in maths . then it has additional maths too ? my life is gonna be over . T_T . i changed my ambition into a culinary chef or a baker cuz that's the next thing i love .. but i'm having 2nd thoughts to take or to not take it .. cuz u know .. a career like that is not so ever lasting .. u have to take many risks but even that doesn't assure if ur gonna succeed or not . see .. it's a not so convincing job & the pay is kind of low .. HAHA ! i refuse to be a malaysian culinary chef ! =D LOL ~ .. anyway, the real reason why i don't even want that anymore is bcuz of my dad .. he said it's not that vocational's a bad stream but in the future it'll leave u with nothing .. empty pockets .. huhhhh . he's right . i need to get real ! he opted for lawyer .. u know , the kind of job that defends rights & so but if somebody's not happy with u , BANG BANG ! goes the bullet & into ur head .. or heart .. or kidney but that's not the point .. hmmm.. when he told me that i should be one bcuz he doesn't want my english language to be wasted .. i get to thinking .. he's right . why should i go for streams that have subjects which i'm terrible at . i'm not saying that i'm excellent in english . i still have things to learn & i make grammar ERRORS but .. it is my best subject. and who cares a damn about somebody being good in english . it's so common nowadays ! .but c'mon .. lawyer ? defending human & etc rights .. ? even my rights r buried at the bottom of the sea .. how can i really convince someone else that they can trust me ?? @_@ . HAHAHAHA ! stupid . but it is the best choice for me , YET ~ . if i go for science stream , i really suck in maths . the worst of it all is it has additional maths too ! how the hell am i going to cope with that . urrgghhhh ....... then vocational stream ? i might as well say that i have no future .! culinary & bakery are tempting but tourism ? beauty subject & all that .i DON'T want that . eeeww .. haih .. it's all my fault . if i work harder on my PMR none of this would happen . a message to all of u youngsters out there . do well in ur PMR & u'll get a bright future . cuz my future is flickering like a broken bulb or something .. hmm .. i think social science stream[my current school doesn't have this one so i'm moving away & i want to get into a boarding school] is the best for me . it ain't got no add maths or effective subjects like biology, physics , chemistry .. it has about 8 subject excluding PJK .. the core subjects are BM, BI, Maths[basic], science[basic], sejarah & yes PJK . the effective subjects are PSV & Tasawwur Islam[this is really good] . see .. it ain't that hard . the stream is specialized for people interested in History, Psychology, Law, Language, Literature & get this .. Music ! LOL ~ u can go to this site http://www.sabah.net.my/arif/tawaran.htm . got the info there . anyway, im going to do some facebook-ing now .. i miss my Society Pet game ! tataa .. tehee !![nigahiga style]
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Hey bloggie ! today's the last day of PMR & i'm freakin happy cuz i can do anything i want now .. sleep till my head explode , play comp till my eyes get blind , sms till my fingers swell & roam to malls till my feet bleed .. ! HAHAHA ! but aside from the good things, there is one little problem that ruins my day today . u know what i mean .. "them" .. seriously, i can't get it out of my head . i'm not feeling myself today . i love that i hate the fact that they don't care cuz i found out one thing now . they don't care & underappreciate me . what i'm doing to them now is like a simple test . it goes like this, i'm mad & frustrated in them[not acting] so i ignore them . If they "really" care, they'd be like "what's wrong with u Dean?? sorry aa if we did something wrong .." or "Dean .. sorry aa .. are u mad at us ?" . but i prefer if they say "knpa kw lain sudah sma kmi? kw ada probs dgn kmi ka ? sorry ..". YES !!! they should ask that KEY question to me !! ask if i have any problems with them . but INSTEAD , they IGNORE me and are dragging EVERYBODY TO THEM . it's like they're ruining my friendship with everyone else .. let's be clear cuz i don't want anyone to be misunderstood . "Them" are Ap & Jov . "Everybody else" are charm & some people . Even charm doesn't talk to me anymore . THANKS A LOT AP & BUNY !!!! U GUYS ARE THE BEST FRIENDS A PERSON COULD EVER HAVE !! a message to charm , it's fine if u don't want to talk to me anymore . i accept if it's bcuz i did sumthing wrong to u all this time cuz i know i did . i hurted u & treated u like hell . i'm truly sorry . but, if the reason for ur attitude towards me is bcuz u r on THEIR side , i can't accept & i'm furiously dissapointed in u . ur supposed to know me more than anyone else . u know that i won't create such attitude if sumthing's not wrong . but sumthing is & why can't u understand .. it's always me that must stick to u from behind even though i know u prefer to be friends with somebody else . i'm letting u go so here's ur chance to ditch me . do it right now . i was this person that follows u bcuz i don't have friends that understands me like u do . but u know what i feel , u didn't truly listen to me when i had sumthing to tell .. i'm sorry if ur bored or anything but when u had probs , i tried the best i could to help u . guess we're not as close as i THOUGHT we are . thank u for making me realize that .. sorry . Ap , i know ur a nice person & i'm not as good or smart as u are but at times u hurt me so bad that u couldn't see it . i hate ur attitude .. the way u grab attention from others just to find friends regardless if they were talking to me . i don't wanna be the one who puts all my anger deep in the heart's core just so U CAN BE HAPPY [while i'm aching] . i tried the best to keep it hush hush but i reached my limit . i had enough of it . Buny, eventhough we're close before, u always leave me behind . ur talking to somebody else and i'm ignored . ur walking with somebody else and i'm left all alone . ap & u are too social . u have too many friends but not many hearts enough to APPRECIATE THEM ALL . i guess i'm just a fruitcake at the back while u go make friends with cupcakes . i hate the feeling of loneliness . it's like i'm ur back up friend or sumthing . I holded on with u guys since LAST YEAR . i stuck to all of u bcuz i refused to give up . i know that someday i'll find a place . i'll feel belonged in the group & not just a naive new kid .. but f**k that . they're all bullshit things to hope for . i tried to make things right but when it do, it goes wrong for me .. i felt HELL STUPID !!!! i hope u'll all stick with ur new clique[yg kmu2 lha] & don't treat them like me . learn ur mistakes cuz i'm learning now . it's better to have one good loyal friend[Natasha K] than have hundreds but none really cares about u . i'm trying hard to convince myself that . HAVE A HAPPY LIFE & don't give a damn about me . just go on with ur ego pride than putting some effort to try to solve it . i still feel like i'm a new kid cuz i still don't wholly adapt myself to these changes, new atmosphere & yes , friends . but doesn't matter . i'll be out of that school next year anyway . i can find other people who appreciate me better than u guys . all i ever want is friends that i can count on in times of sorrow & will always hold on to me like sisters , not just happy moments when we're all having fun. we won't have fun all the time . that is the real world , that's LIFE ! . is that too much too ask ? even one person is enough but none did such things. we're happy together so we're bestfriends .. but when we're mad at each other we're enemies. i don't want that but u pushed me & pushed me again . i had to walk away . i refuse to be frustrated & i'm tired of pretending fine . i DESERVED better than that .. i know it . how i miss u Farah .. eventhough we live & school at places far from each other . ur the closest person to me till now . i hope our dream of going to the same school together again would come true . if not , i know we'll hold on to each other no matter what cuz we're bestfriends till the end . from the 5th grade until now , thanks for sticking with me through thick & thin . farewell ~
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